Sex, this is Childhood. Childhood, this is Sex.

New research suggests that parents no longer need to worry about their children being exposed to sexually explicit images as girls as young as eight are being critical towards media material and are apparently “quite knowledgeable about media practices”.

Queensland Sociologist, Dr Sarah Baker, told ABC radio that two new studies, one in Australia and one in the United Kingdom, focuses on how young girls are using modern music as a tool to grow-up.

“They are looking at these things from a critical perspective. They’re not necessarily looking at them thinking ‘I need to have that outfit and I need to change my own school uniform into a crop-top’,” Dr Baker said.

Despite this, there is sufficient concern among politicians, resulting in the launch of a Senate inquiry entitled The Sexualisation of Children in the Contemporary Media Environment.

In contrast, Dr Baker believes that it is only a problem for some girls, and that for the majority of girls, they are becoming more critical.

“It’s good news. They’re not just accepting passively what’s being presented to them in the media … they are looking at it much more critically then we sometimes give them credit for,” she said.

Clearly there is nothing to worry about. If we believe Dr Baker, girls who have a hard time deciding between the pasta and chicken nuggets in McDonald’s Happy Meals because of the fat content will really be able to say ‘no’ to replicating the Pussycat Dolls’ chest pump and say ‘yes’ to the live broadcast of the exciting 2008 National Budget on the ABC.

Of course if girls are not watching television, they are playing with their dolls- Bratz dolls.

There is a reason why the plasticifiction of ‘whore’ has been so popular amongst young girls. Its predecessors, Cabbage Patch Kids, in contrast, are fully clothed, soft, affordable, do not look like Pamela Anderson and are seemingly morbidly obese in comparison to the size 00 Bratz Dolls.

But remember, girls in this consumer-driven world are smart, ‘critical’ and can make choices.

So if they don’t like playing with the dolls, they can watch the movie.

But perhaps the most common form of media practice exposed to children is advertising.

Remember the controversial Lee Jeans campaign?

The theory that ‘sex sells’ has crossed all paths of life from television shows, magazine covers and music videos. However, there is no doubting that the fashion industry has been beaten up by the vulgarity stick a bit too hard.

The Lee Jeans Campaign, featuring the above photo, shows a half naked role model, wearing nothing but short overalls in which the straps just cover the necessities.

So what is the pale-skinned, red head trying to tell us?

The advertisement which would have been viewable to anyone who sits in a car driving pass a billboard, looks more like an advertisement for the ice block.

Thus dripping in sugars and in porcelain sexuality, consumers are being told, “The way to look sexy is to throw the bra out, along with any remaining crumbs of morality and self respect and walk around licking an ice-lock from bottom to top as if you were licking a … lollipop”.

The lesson learned here from the Lee Jeans advertisement putting the grot in grotesque, is that media practices can be as unforgiving as Tom Cruise stuck in a lounge room with L. Ron Hubbard.

Packaged girlhood, meet sex.

The Art in Being Smart

Like a mortgage, tertiary education is a long-term investment; both require a tonne of money and plenty of hard work.

The National Centre for Vocational Educational Research (NCVER) reported that 85% of university undergraduates and 83% of apprentices have the best employment prospects in the Australian market, compared to the 63.6% of those who do not continue with education.

Take the old sheilas from Desperate Housewives for example. Marcia Cross has a Masters in Psychology, Felicity Huffman has a Bachelor of Fine Arts from New York University (NYU) and Eva Longoria (the hot one) has a degree in Kinesiology.

These leadings ladies scored roles on the ratings juggernaut after years of unemployment and the cult success of Melrose Place and other soaps back in the early 90s.

On the other end of the scale, Australia’s hostess with the mostest (wrinkles), Gretel Killeen, was earlier in the year replaced by Kyle and Jackie’O as Big Brother Host.

The law school drop-out who writes books intelligently titled My Life is a Toilet and My Life is a boobtube, was once a ‘beauty’ panel member on Network Ten’s Beauty and the Beast. How times have changed…

Unlike Killeen, another law drop-out, Matthew McConaughey, stayed in university and changed to a drama major.

Fellow blond however, Jessica Simpson, dropped out of high school.

You can now see Simpson on labels of ‘hairdo’, a wig line she ‘designed’. Note: the term ‘designed’ is use loosely, almost as loose as …

On the ‘hairdo’ packaging, Simpson poses with pouted lips, much like a fish- or is it chicken?

When it comes to 28-year-old Simpson, she redefines pushing the envelope of success on such an empty head. In fact, she tears that envelope into pieces.

Harvard graduate in psychology, Natalie Portman, is smarter than that Other Boleyn Girl, has been nominated for an Oscar and giving talks at NYU and Stanford University.

Other examples of the longlivety of higher education, include honours graduates Brooke Shields and Jodie Foster who both have new projects this year.

In contrast, when Rihanna recorded Please Don’t Stop the Music, she obviously was not listening to Stars are Blind, by Paris Hilton.

Tabloid staple, Hilton, (no education background required- literally) recently held auditions for her new reality show, a search for her new BFF.

OK! Magazine reports that at the first audition in New York, 40 people showed up.

Thinking people want to be your friend when they clearly don’t?

That’s an entirely different kind of smart.

How Marriage is Uncool

A look at how being single can change your life.

The attractiveness of marriage has plummeted as the number of figures in the UK has reached its lowest point since 1862 when the figure was first calculated.

Compared with 2005, the 2006 marriage figures dropped four per cent and where marriages did occur, the number of first unions for either party also fell by one third since 1981.

Counselling organization Relate’s chief executive, Claire Tyler, has said two thirds of the population now feel that there is little difference socially between living together and being married.

University of Kent sociology professor, Frank Furedi, said the statistics obscured a deeper problem.

“It’s not that cohabitation has replaced marriage, it’s that more and more people are not able to have close relationships. People who are not married feel they resonate with the times.” Mr. Furedi said.

Since the number of second marriages are increasing, J.Lo can now be seen as the prime example of how marriage is uncool. The three times married and four times engaged Lopez is an example of how marriage cramps your style, with three record disappointments; Rebirth, Como Ama Una Mujer and Brave all released after marrying current husband, Marc Anthony.

To Lopez, marriage is as sacred as Paris Hilton’s virginity.

But perhaps the coolest couple out there is Brangelina. The Jolie-Pitts have not wed and already have four children, expecting another two- almost catching up with the number of Lindsay Lohan lawsuits.

It is because of not marrying, the Jolie-Pitts are the Tim Tams of sexiness; irresistible and never seems to expire.

However you cannot talk about single life and not mention Cameron Diaz.

Like what Mr. Furedi said, Diaz is resonating with the times.

Ms. Diaz told British GQ magazine, “When I’m in a relationship I’m very loyal and committed. I give a lot. But it’s been nice not having a boyfriend for the past year. In fact it’s the first time I haven’t had one in ten years and I’m enjoying what I’m getting out of this moment. I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be but I haven’t finished doing what I’m doing.”

What is Cameron doing?

Diaz who is currently linked to 300 star, Gerard Butler, has been single for a year, but not before dating; Scott Speedman, John Mayer, Justin Timberlake and Bradley Cooper. If you have no idea who they are, it does not matter.

The point is, dating and being single is like being Zimbabwean. It’s an endurance sport, and the loner you are in it- the more you get out of it. The cooler you are.

Learning from Diaz, nothing is cooler than racking up a CV of hook-ups landing her, at one stage, the title of the second highest paid actress in Hollywood, earning $20 million per movie; continually blessing us with those goofy smiles and cheeks that grandma has pinched one too many times.

Seems when it comes to being cool- sluttiness trumps marriage.

When Things Really Do Get Fully Sick

A recent study has shown that only three per cent of consumers consider celebrity endorsements as an important factor before purchases.

A survey conducted by Indian Market Research Bureau (IMRM) reveals how consumers are no longer attracted to celebrity fashion lines or the like because of celebrity overexposure.

Leading international marketing firm JWT India’s CEO, Colvyn Harris, said that it is critical to create a perfect match between what the product and celebrity stand for, individually.

“No star can add value if intrinsically there is a mismatch to the brand.” Mr. Harris said.

This mismatch is evident in the distasteful births of many celebrity fashion and cosmetics lines which these days, devalues the product rather than enhance it.

Thus …

Celebrity endorsements are bullshit!

Despite the underwear brand name, Ian Thorpe is no longer IT. In fact Thorpe no longer “is” either.

Also it is clear that Britney Spears is anything but Curious. No explanation needed.

Only confused people would buy P. Diddy’s Sean John because he still cannot remember his name even at the age of 39.

However, one cannot name celebrity lines and neglect Paris Hilton, who (Donald) Trumps all the others. After releasing the fragrance Just Me, many consumers where left asking “Anything else, please?”

Little did they know, there was a lot more coming.

The “star” who dressed as Alice from Alice in Wonderland last year for Halloween, looked more like another manufactured character; the William Hung of The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. Nevertheless, Hilton lived up to the theme of Alice’s waywardness and has since misfired an array of songs, movies fragrances and even (unfortunately) books.

As an “actress” Paris shone to stardom predominantly by being herself, evident in one of her most famous pieces One Night in Paris, and the more family-friendly Simple Life. Even so, life was not so simple as Paris proceeded to cook pancakes on clothe irons and fake a feud with token fat friend (admit it, everyone has one), Nicole Richie.

Hilton, who breaks the law as often as you pick your nose in winter, was famously gaoled after violating her probation by driving while intoxicated. Upon release, Christianity suddenly became to her, what Scientology is for Tom Cruise, despite telling Larry King she “doesn’t have a favourite” Bible passage.

If you could argue air could be put in glass: Paris’ head would be the one half empty.

The living end-product of Entrepreneurship For Dummies (cassette edition) has showed the world she Can Can pose transexually and seductively to promote other perfumes such as the original Paris Hilton and Heiress; because a little bit of air in the head is never enough.

In December 2007, Hilton joined forces with RICH® Prosecco to promote wine in a can. When you are famous for being drunk; partying, driving, working, hitting it up with randoms and giving it up to randoms- why not?

While one may mock Hilton, her success in the eau de toilette department is undeniable as Parlux sales increased by 47% due to Hilton’s fragrances.

The eau de toilette is clearly where Paris belongs.